Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
