Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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