Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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