weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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