when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Are we still banned from the library?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
