**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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