I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
