It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He felt like a one man threesome
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
