Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
