Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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