It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
