let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
