If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
As shirtless as possible
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
