At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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