I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we're making bets on your personal life
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
