He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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