You made me cry and you don't even care
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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