Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
