Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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