Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
