A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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