I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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