im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
