So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
