Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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