I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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