I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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