I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
When are your genitals available?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
