mondays should just be called national damage control day
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
