What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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