i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
