Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
