Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
