So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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