another moral hangover. fuck.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
