Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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