WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
