if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
