I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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