i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
