my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
