hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
