just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
