we're chasing vodka with high fives
no, he came in my armpit
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
