Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
