uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
