Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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