I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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