who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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