Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
