i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
