That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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