She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
